I was talking to a friend tonight, and he mentioned I didn’t sound like myself. To be honest, I’m not ok. I’m wading through the waters of uncertainty and doing my best to trust my angels along the way.
He said, “We are all going through something; you will get through this, you always do.” And that is precisely why I am writing out loud on The Life of a Ram,
I am not ok.
I’m tired. Uninspired. Unmotivated. Underwhelmed and truly grasping for straws to breathe. I need something exciting. Challenging. Motivational. Exhilarating. Bright. Fresh. And truthfully, I don’t know what that is right now.
Anyway, my friend also said I needed to get this off my chest, perhaps, and I’ll feel better. No. Anyway, no one talks enough about early Motherloss and its effects on your entire existence.
I move my body and train hard because it’s my best friend. My village. My community. My connection to my mother. It’s my vessel.
A way has always been made, but it’s never come without struggle. As I mentioned in a recent note, some families will always ensure their kids will not have to struggle, and I think that’s beautiful. It makes me jealous that I never stood a chance. It did help make me who I am today.
This is a messy, raw, and real feeling today. I love my cat. She’s not all well. I love myself. And I, too, am not all well.
Love, though, makes me believe we will all be well soon because love is everything.
♥️,
Your Favorite Ram
