I am writing this while I even out my tan lines at the pool. Summer has been summering, and honestly, I have never felt more alive, whimsical, and fully me.
More or less each Friday evening, I have spent it at LACMA Jazz with friends, and it has been one of the most beautiful rituals I’ve started for myself this summer. Each Friday, we gather on the lawn at LACMA, the Los Angeles County Museum of Art, with drinks, food, games, blankets, chairs, and more. Its SO much fun and it’s free. LA has a bad rap of finding community, but honestly, the community you seek is also seeking you. Trust me.
When I moved here in 2011, I was in a relationship, my brother and sister-in-law were still living here, and I had a fun job. But I could not have felt more lost, confused, and in search of myself amidst all the people I loved. It took me about four years or so to find my friends and the activities I truly enjoyed. I started volunteering, taking yoga classes, and then got the guts to start my first yoga teacher training.
Needless to say, I have come a long way from almost selling knives door-to-door to creating and running my own businesses. I had no idea I would be where I am today… meeting people I know will be on the dance floor and running homesteads together well into our 90s.
I do not take for granted the friends who’ve come and gone, the lovers who expanded and contracted my heart, the many side gigs and hustles that helped sharpen my tools as an entrepreneur, homie, lover, and friend. God has truly blessed me.
I had a session with my teacher recently, which revealed how much I have grown into my most authentic self. I shared with her a recent challenge I faced, which ended up being one of the most beautiful expansions of a friendship I have ever had the chance to grow from. She said, "Yeah, you might be in your own world right now, but that is because this is the first time in your life you have felt this safe and free.” I am working on balancing overgiving with preserving my own place of peace, not because I have always been taken advantage of, but because I am done with having loose boundaries and saving my needs for last. People act how you allow them to, and if I were footloose and fancy-free with my needs, how was I supposed to know when or where to call my energy back and move from a place of ease?
For the first time in my life, I am exhaling long and slow, and it feels really great. When challenges arrive (as they will becuase this is life) I am not afraid to sit with what I need to sit with, be lovingly course corrected when the time comes, and honor the deep pain and hurt I have felt for so much of my life while being brave in my pursuit of joy. I AM FREE.
At the start of the summer, I decided to wear more dresses and heels (wedges, really) because the '99s and the '00s took my ability to wear stilettos comfortably away. I regret nothing! It’s an identity shift I am fully embracing… softness, feminine beauty, sweet moments, flowing freely, and simply embracing the fullness of my body as a divine black woman. I love it here!
And who am I kidding, I spend most of my days in yoga clothes, which is great because this is my work and I love it. I know this next iteration of me is fully forming, loving the people who love me, celebrating any and everything that deserves celebration, and embracing these long summer days, crisp and cute nights, and the people I get to make memories with along the way.
I am doing more soundbathes than ever, yes, ancestor, I listened, creative storytelling with clients, embracing new brand partnerships and collaborations with new and old friends. Life hands you what you need when you need it. I know for the last 43 years of my life, the timing of some experiences felt abrupt, but the more I say, thank you, that hurt, but I can/will stand up again, I do, and life rewards me. It rewards the doers, seekers, students, teachers, and kind truth-tellers who are here for a reason, embrace their season, and know that lifetimes are just that… lives we get to live for the time we get to live them. So let’s fucking live!
Stay Brave in your pursuit of JOY!
With love,
Your favorite Ram
The dress is gorgeous on you & my favorite color share the deets please 🧡🥰