As I get older, I realize I am a very tender person who loves deeply. I cherish people and honestly can’t think of anything better than being human. Sometimes I wish I were an elephant, but for the most part, being human is great.
Except when people die. I know animals grieve in their own way, but my goodness…I sometimes wish life were, in fact, fair and good people didn’t leave without a chance to grow old.
My friend, LV, died last month. She was 44 years old and left a mark on all those who got to know and love her. It feels unfair. We should grow old with our beloveds, but alas, life isn’t fair. No one ever told me it was or would be, but a girl can desire.
The same week, the only father figure I’ve ever known and who was the biggest champion for my personal and professional ascension, Mr. Bird, died as well. He wanted to live forever and part of me always believed he would. Talk about a double whammy.
There have been moments when it’s felt hard to breathe, and when I talk about either of them, I feel a tightness in my chest and have to force back the tears.
Until tonight…After I led my Love in Motion Soundbath, I couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. I thanked the attendees, shared the photo I have of LV (we had a girls memorial for her at the beach today), and started to weep. The theme for the Soundbath tonight was, Return to Yourself, which was planned before all the deaths but felt so aligned.
I returned to the tender hearted version of myself that I tried to bury in order to get through the day. However, my body and I know better now, so there’s no stuffing anymore. It has to move out.
Hence why, instead of rescheduling today’s Soundbath, I kept it, because I needed more than I realized. I needed to return to myself. A tender Aries with a heart of gold and an exterior as tough as steel. But if you blow my way too hard, I will tumble to the ground.
The duality of the life of a human. I am grateful for it all.
I love you, Mr. Bird and LV. You continue to inspire beyond your realm, as I will double down on loving and living life to the fullest. Free will is to be exercised and JOY FOR LIFE, forever.
Until next time…
Stay BRAVE in your pursuit of JOY! 💌
Love,
Your Favorite Ram 🐏 ♥️